Broken

When his sister is murdered in their rural North Carolina town, a bullied teenager who suffers from stress-induced blackouts resolves to hunt down her killer.

Reader Comments:

  • “Solid visual storytelling.”
  • “You do an excellent job of building suspense[.]”
  • “You know how to create tension within a scene.”
  • “There are a lot of skills on display here.”
  • “You understand the genre and you know how to build tension.”

-Barnstorm Fest

  • “The screenplay does an excellent job of establishing characters that feel real, honest, and sympathetic.”
  • “The dynamics at play between Dustin and his sister, his mother, and Frank are all layered with history and emotional subtext in such a way that speaks volumes for the capabilities of the writer.”
  • “The story has a few well-placed red herrings […] that can be recontextualized on multiple occasions as new information is introduced[.]”
  • “[T]he screenplay does an excellent job of guiding the reader along with Dustin’s thought process making his revelations feel like our revelations.”
  • “The screenplay has a strong tone and strong characters, and is clearly written by a capable and talented writer who warrants the attention of producers.”

-The Blcklst website

  • “Thank you for creating a story that is equal parts thrilling and suspenseful. I particularly liked the twist in the end as it was surprising and was also grounded in truth and believability. You’ve created a predator that’s also a character that you empathize with as he’s not merely the victimizer but a victim himself.”
  • “The concept is intriguing.”
  • “You have a knack for imagery.”
  • “Great job!”

-We Screenplay

  • “’Broken’ is a very compelling story that stands out with its moral messages and excellent twist.”“The screenplay is also masterfully crafted.”
  • “The characters of the story are undoubtedly one of its chief strengths because they are complex and three-dimensional.”
  • “Overall, [Dustin] is an impeccably developed character who makes for a strong and memorable protagonist.”“The plot is bulletproof.”
  • “Each character has a unique voice on the page that makes them distinctive and helps their interactions become authentic and believable.”
  • “[C]ontext and subtext are employed to convey crucial information implicitly, which has allowed exposition to be avoided.”
  • “The use of micro-actions and subtle emotional responses has also contributed to this, and it enhances the dialogue very much.”
  • “The story is very strong conceptually because of the social commentary on mental health, which helps emotionally engage us as it adds a layer of depth to the narrative.”
  • “The moral messages embedded in the core of the premise also stimulate a thought-provoking and active viewership.”
  • “[D]oes [ ] do the right thing? Well, this is for us to decide, and it makes the story linger with us even after the final page.”
  • “Overall, this increases its marketability and castability immensely, while it also resonates with the reader very much.”
  • “[T]here is an original tone that is consistently kept throughout the narrative, while the conventions of the genre are creatively used along with common technical approaches.”

-We Screenplay